Why Are So Many People Lonely Right Now?

Steps for Healing: Acknowledging the Pain, Getting Up, Leaning In, and Becoming Comfortable

I’ve been noticing something lately—in my sessions, in conversations with friends, and even in my own quiet moments. So many people are feeling lonely right now. Not just “I wish I had more plans this weekend” lonely, but a deep, aching sense of isolation that’s hard to name and even harder to sit with.

Maybe it’s the world feeling a bit more disconnected these days. Maybe it’s the way technology keeps us connected but rarely close. Maybe it’s the losses we’ve faced over the past few years—of people, of relationships, of versions of ourselves that no longer fit. Whatever the reason, I want to say this first: if you’re feeling lonely right now, you are not broken. You are human.

And as the holidays approach, loneliness tends to surface even more. This season can be full of memories and expectations—family traditions that no longer happen or never happened, gatherings that feel emptier than they used to, or reminders of someone who isn’t here anymore. Whether your heart carries grief, divorce, trauma, or simply loneliness, this time of year can magnify what’s been quietly hurting.

When I help people work through loneliness, I use four simple but powerful steps: acknowledging the pain, getting up, leaning in, and becoming comfortable.

Acknowledging the Pain

Before we can move through loneliness, we have to let ourselves feel it. Many of us were taught to cover up pain—stay busy, distract ourselves, or tell ourselves to “get over it.” But loneliness doesn’t go away when we ignore it. People usually find that loneliness softens when they acknowledge it.

This might look like saying out loud, “I feel lonely right now,” or sitting quietly and letting yourself cry without judgment. It might mean admitting that you miss someone deeply, or that life hasn’t looked the way you thought it would.

Acknowledging the pain is not weakness—it’s honesty. And honesty is the beginning of healing.

Getting Up

Once we’ve allowed ourselves to feel the pain, the next step is getting up. Not in a “move on” kind of way, but in a “keep breathing” kind of way. This is where small actions start to matter: making your bed, taking a walk, sending a text to someone you trust, or even showing up for therapy.

Getting up doesn’t mean you have to have it all figured out. It simply means you’re choosing to keep going, even when it hurts. And that choice—no matter how small—creates movement.

Leaning In

Healing often asks us to lean in—to vulnerability, to connection, to the things that scare us a little. Loneliness tells us to pull back, to protect ourselves. But healing happens when we do the opposite.

Leaning in might mean being honest with a friend about how you’ve been feeling. It might mean joining a group, volunteering, or starting a new routine that brings you around others. It might mean leaning into your relationship with yourself—getting curious about what your loneliness is trying to tell you.

Sometimes, loneliness is simply the heart’s way of saying, I’m ready for something deeper.

Becoming Comfortable

Finally, we learn to become comfortable—not with being lonely, but with being with ourselves.
There’s a peace that can come when we stop running from the quiet and start befriending it. When we begin to see solitude as a space for rest, reflection, and self-compassion rather than something to fear.

Becoming comfortable takes time. It’s a process of gentle acceptance—a reminder that even in the seasons when no one seems to be sitting beside you, you are still whole, still worthy, still loved.

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If this season feels heavy for you, please know you don’t have to carry it alone. Whether through therapy, friendship, faith, or community, healing is possible. Loneliness may be visiting right now, but it doesn’t define you.

You’re allowed to slow down, to hurt, to heal, and to grow. You’re allowed to be exactly where you are.

And in that space—right here, right now—you are already taking the first step toward connection again.

Warmly,
Carissa
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Paladin MFT

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About

Carissa Lataillade is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Santa Clarita, CA. She is passionate about helping people navigate seasons of change, loss, and healing with compassion and honesty. Through her writing, therapy practice, and speaking engagements, Carissa creates spaces where people can show up as they are and begin to rebuild with hope.

If you would like to connect for therapy or to invite Carissa to speak at your event, please visit PaladinMFT.com/contact.

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