Advocating for Yourself in a Toxic Work Environment

I talk with so many clients who come into therapy weighed down by work stress — not just the normal kind, but the kind that drains your energy, makes you question your worth, and spills into every part of your life. If that sounds familiar, you may be in what’s often called a toxic work environment — a place where communication breaks down, negativity spreads, and people’s mental health suffers in the process.

If you’ve been feeling anxious on Sunday nights, dreading every meeting, or walking on eggshells around certain coworkers or supervisors, you’re not alone. And while you might not be able to change the entire culture, you can begin to advocate for yourself and protect your well-being in the process.

Let’s talk about some ways to do that.

1. Name What’s Really Happening

Toxic work environments can make you question your own perceptions. You might think, “Maybe it’s just me,” or “Maybe I’m being too sensitive.” But gaslighting and chronic stress can distort our sense of reality.

Try writing down specific examples of what’s been happening — dismissive comments, unfair workloads, shifting expectations, or passive-aggressive communication. Seeing these patterns clearly can help you validate your experience and identify what needs to change.

2. Set Clear Emotional Boundaries

You may not have control over how others behave, but you do have control over what you engage with. Start by deciding what you will and won’t take on emotionally.

For example:

• You can refuse to participate in gossip or negativity.
• You can take a short walk after a difficult meeting instead of internalizing it.
• You can end work communication at a reasonable hour, even if others don’t.

Boundaries are not selfish — they are acts of self-respect that help preserve your emotional and mental health.

3. Advocate Through Calm, Direct Communication

When you do need to address an issue — with a coworker, supervisor, or HR — practice calm, clear, and factual communication. Stick to observable behavior and the impact it’s having, rather than broad labels or emotions.

For example:

“When deadlines are changed without notice, it makes it difficult for me to manage my workload and meet expectations. Could we create a clearer timeline moving forward?”

You don’t need to over-explain or apologize for asking for what you need. Advocacy is about clarity, not confrontation.

4. Find Support and Validation

In toxic settings, isolation often makes things worse. Seek out people you trust — either inside or outside of work — who can listen without judgment and remind you that you’re not imagining the dysfunction.

Sometimes, support looks like a friend who helps you laugh at the absurdity of a situation. Other times, it’s a therapist who can help you process what’s happening and strategize next steps. You don’t have to carry this alone.

5. Take Care of Your Nervous System

Toxic environments keep your body in fight-or-flight mode, which can lead to burnout, sleep problems, and anxiety. Prioritize nervous system regulation — small, steady actions that remind your body you are safe.

This might mean:

• Deep breathing before or after stressful meetings.
• Grounding techniques, like feeling your feet on the floor or naming five things you see.
• Scheduling short breaks away from screens.
• Re-connecting with hobbies or movement that bring you peace.

Healing doesn’t happen in chaos — it begins when your body starts to exhale.

6. Know When to Walk Away

Sometimes the healthiest form of self-advocacy is choosing to leave. It’s not failure to outgrow a workplace that is harming your well-being. It’s strength. If you’ve tried setting boundaries, communicating clearly, and seeking support — and the environment remains unsafe or toxic — your energy is better invested in finding a place that values and respects you.

7. You Deserve to Thrive, Not Just Survive

If this resonates with you, I want you to hear this clearly: You deserve to work in an environment that values your humanity. You do not have to sacrifice your mental health for a paycheck or for other people’s comfort.

Sometimes, advocating for yourself begins quietly — with one boundary, one conversation, one moment of choosing peace over people-pleasing. Those small acts build strength and clarity over time.

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If You Need Support

If you’re navigating a toxic work environment and feeling the toll on your mental health, therapy can help you untangle what’s happening and regain your sense of balance. Together, we can work on boundary-setting, communication strategies, and emotional recovery from chronic workplace stress.

You don’t have to face this alone. Contact me today to schedule a session or learn more about how counseling can help you find your voice again.

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Warmly,

Carissa

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Paladin MFT

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About

Carissa Lataillade is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Santa Clarita, CA. She is passionate about helping people navigate seasons of change, loss, and healing with compassion and honesty. Through her writing, therapy practice, and speaking engagements, Carissa creates spaces where people can show up as they are and begin to rebuild with hope.

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If you would like to connect for therapy or to invite Carissa to speak at your event, please visit PaladinMFT.com/contact.

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